grapefruit tea

a wild goosechase

soundclick.com

nostalgia

a haunting voice

an unmistakable vibrato

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Thank goodness for:

1. Understanding parents (of course, they’re only understanding since I’m gone most of the year)

2.  Libraries with free wifi.

3. Some semblance of self-discipline so I’ve gone through about half of all the readings I need for CITIES.

4. Indescribably beautiful weather. Goodbye Seasonal Affective Disorder!

5. Sleep.

My parents are getting a little concerned since I slept from 8 PM until 9 AM this morning. (In their words, “… Do you sleep at school? Ever?”)

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

1. I didn’t get the internship I wanted so I’m not going to Nanjing to teach English this summer. This means, I need to start applying for other internships… now. FML.

2. I watched Hachiko: A Dog’s Tale which is an excellent movie, but a complete tearjerker. I was anticipating that since I knew the story well, but still… I have never cried so hard due to a movie before. And now after just receiving news about #1, I feel like I should watch it again so I have an excuse to sob like an emotionally disturbed child.

3. I’m meeting Johnathan and possibly my friend Daveed soon. And my mascara survived my cryingfest (waterproof mascaras are a godsend), my eyeliner is smeared–everywhere.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

I’ve been wanting a netbook for over a year now.

My Macbook is too clunky and has too many scratches/dents from me hauling it to class.

A netbook, on the other hand, is tiny and portable which means it won’t threaten to split my bag when I lug it to class for note-taking.

The main thing that deters me is my gigantic music collection. I have over 38 GB and it takes too long to load on a Macbook, so I shudder to think of how long it’ll take on a tiny netbook. :[ And yeah, I’m definitely one of Those People who can’t be without their music.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

My mom has been teaching my fourteen year old sister Chinese (Mandarin) with Jay Chou songs.

Now if that’s not hilarious by itself, I’ve discovered that my mom has accidentally taught Tiffany the wrong lyrics because Jay Chou mumbles.

I love my family.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

I’m home!

And stuffed with Chinese food. :D

Apparently since I’ve been gone, my family has acquired a “pet rabbit”. It lives under the shed in our frigid wasteland of a backyard. My mom is still traumatized from finding the frozen carcass of a baby bunny from the Winter of 2008, so she’s determined to keep this one alive by leaving it lots of food.

According to my sisters, it’s now enormous.

So now, my family call this bunny “小胖“ (Small Fattie) and my dad often inquires about its health when he comes home:

“How is 小胖 doing?”

I can’t make stuff like this up.

I love my family.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

So after cramming a 150 years of Chinese history into my brain and late night study sessions with Andrea and Kelsey for what turned out to be the easiest midterm ever, and finding out that I’ve been approved to study abroad (Hong Kong is within sight! yes!)… my body decided that it would conk out on me.

Accidental five hour naps are kind of a blessing in disguise.(It was glorious. I went to bed at nearly 5 AM last night.)

Now I’m listening to the fantastic Shiina Ringo music Inez gave me and trying to get through all my Japanese Civ readings and my Chinese homework.

My body’s been weird for the past hour or so. I hope it’s just stress/asthma or allergies acting up and I’m not actually getting sick. I can’t get sick right now.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Basically, I watched Zombieland last week and have had zombies on the brain (ahaha, terrible yet entirely unintentional pun) ever since. Because zombie movies= instant hilarity and lots of blood and gore. What’s not to love?

So naturally, I’ve complied a playlist because I don’t already have enough to do during midterms week. (Fun fact: this also doubles as my “run like you stole something”/work out playlist.]

Stacy’s Zombie Apocalypse Playlist

1. Muse– Apocalypse Please

2. The Clash–London Calling

3. Michael Jackson–Thriller

4. Tool–Jambi

5. R.E.M.– I Walked With a Zombie

6. The UNC Clefhangers– Time is Running Out [Muse cover]

7. Queen–Another One Bites the Dust

8. Voltaire– When You’re Evil

9. Leslie Hall–Zombie Killer

10. Muse–Sing for Absolution

11. Nirvana–Smells Like Team Spirit

12. Muse–Stockholm Syndrome

13. Queen–Don’t Stop Me Now (This is only on here because of this epic scene in Shaun of the Dead)

14. Zombinas and the Skeletones–Nobody Likes You When You’re Dead

15. Muse–Assassin

16. Jonathan Coulton–Re: Your Brains

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

makes me wish that I could move to some place sunny so I wouldn’t have to deal with seasonal affective disorder.

Sun, slight breeze, incredible blue skies.

All I’m asking.

(Oh, and wifi. I think I just ruined it.)

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

I bumped into Liz and Inez at Starbucks. :D

I should not be allowed to go into drugstores alone. Or at least, I shouldn’t be allowed to go into them with my debit card because I always walk out $30 poorer.

I watched Zombieland (finally!) with Melody and it’s quite possibly my new favorite movie. I know I’m a little a weird about zombie (I’m actually making a zombie apocalypse playlist right now). I find the entire genre of zombie films hilarious and fascinating.

It helps that I’m a fan of action movies so  chase scenes/gratuitous violence and gore don’t deter me– quite the opposite, really. The dialogue in Zombieland is pretty fantastic– there are some great one-liners:

“Thank god for rednecks.”

“No! She’s only famous when she’s Hannah Montana! She’s only famous when she’s wearing the wig!”

“I hate coconut! Not the taste, but the consistency.”

“When Tallahassee goes Hulk on a zombie, he sets the standard for “not to be fucked with”.”

“You’re like a giant… cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab.”

I think it says something about me that despite having an arsenal of reasons why I should work out more often than three times a week (health/vanity, etc.)– what will get my ass to the gym is the prospect of a zombie apocalypse and myself being one of the first victims. (Rule #1: Cardio, I’m really really terrible at running and I don’t want to become an undead.)

So yeah, tomorrow afternoon– hauling my ass to the gym. I have no plans on becoming one of those fatties in the movie because goddamn, I may have asthma and suck at running– I will survive a freaking zombie apocalypse if one should ever occur.  Especially since (haha) my life does depend on it.

Andy and I stayed up too late to watch Down with Love, the Taiwanese drama starring Ella from S.H.E. whom I love and adore. The drama itself is hilarious, sometimes unintentionally so, as most Taiwanese dramas are.

Evan, Andrea, and I finally have a time set for getting together for dinner tomorrow. Life is awesome. :)

And I am terribly tired. I do not understand why I always stay up so late when my favorite place in the whole wide world is my bed. Or possibly Hong Kong. But you know,  my bed is a close second.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Snow day!

So I’m now inclined to believe that there is a god and I’ve been sacrificing virgins or baby cows to this wondrous deity in my sleep or something. There are no words to describe how much I needed this snow day, despite finishing my paper proposal at freaking 4 AM in the morning.

I do have mixed feelings about the King of Prussia trip being canceled tomorrow, especially since I planned to go with friends. I’ve been in the mood for some major retail therapy. I wanted to buy a hat, a pair of comfortable heels (I need all the help I can get since I’m so vertically challenged), and a white dress for May Day.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

So it’s “holy shit midterms and tests and everything is due” week. I’ve skipped a couple of classes and meals and have become an insomniac. I also managed to lose my voice for a couple of days (by ‘losing’ I mean that my voice alternated between sounding like that of a pixie fairy and that of a chainsmoking man).

Anyway, I have my Chinese oral tomorrow and I’m in nowhere prepared because the lessons we’re being quizzed on are “post office” d “sightseeing” the vocab in both sections are not my forte. If I need to know how to say “人老珠黃” ["women grow old and pearls turn yellow", idiom] tomorrow, I may just punch myself in the face. I also have a paper proposal for my CITIES class tomorrow and I haven’t even started and I need it to be done by noon because I have to catch a train at 12:20 to Philly so I help out at a Chinatown charter school. So, um. Yeah.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Guilty pleasure song.

I get so nostalgic about this song, ahahaha. I remember when I used to listen to this on repeat and sing along. Now I think I only liked it because it’s within my range– but I do like the first verse, especially the first two lines: “breathe in for luck/breathe in so deep”.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

So today Andrea commented that I am terrible at taking care of myself, and I kinda have to agree. I stay up too late for no reason at all, am prone to getting sick, and will often forget/not eat unless I make lunch or dinner plans with friends¹.

My head floods with thoughts and dizziness; the after effects of too little sleep, the grease of dinner, and weak caffeine coursing through my veins. My heart stutters, stops, continues, as Vienna Teng’s voice haunts my subconscious and send chills down my spine.

And the words: they’re everything and nothing
I want to search for her in the offhand remarks

My voice is like gravel right now. I’m wondering if I’m heading towards a mini-breakdown because I have so much work, so little time, and it’s just like my body to suddenly decide that it’s been treating me pretty decently for a couple of weeks–so bam!– sore throat and a tension headache blooming at my temples.

1. There are reasons why I have stand-in lunch dates with certain amazing people [↩]

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Seeing characters you need to memorize in your mind’s eye (chill out, you’ve got this), not living in Communist China–let’s just leave it at that, feeling remarkably awake even after an all-nighter, terrible 80s music (~hit me with your best shot!~), even more terrible 90s bubblegum pop (~sometimes she’s wrong/sometimes I’m right/sometimes we talk about and we figure it out/but then she just changes her mind), good literature (Wild Swans is captivating), pinning my hair up into ridiculous mini-buns, believing that everything will fall into place– I just need to trust myself.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Screw you, bed.

I definitely did not need a four hour nap today!

TO DO LIST:

1. Chinese homework/review of characters I still don’t know how to write (read: all).
2. Finish Wild Swans + paper.
3. Get at least 4 hrs of shelving done tomorrow, submit time sheet.
4. Prepare for my individual conference for tomorrow because I don’t know anything from this lesson.

Breaking out the Red Bull.

A lot of my favorite music puts me to sleep. I need more nu-metal and heavy rock songs.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Use lyrics from one artist or band to answer the questions:

1. Are you male or female?:

I’m a little good girl
I’m a little good girl

OLIVIA–Walk On By

2. Describe yourself:

Oh I, I might be small
but it doesn’t mean I can’t reach the sky
I, I might be weak
but it doesn’t mean you can knock me down

OLIVIA–Dress Me Up [English]

3. How do some people feel about you?:

The devil is in me
The devil is in me
The devil is in me
Oh no

OLIVIA–Devil’s in Me

4. How do you feel about yourself?:

i ja nai kara
Dekinai futotte iru kara
Dekinai atama itai kara
Dekinai hatachi sugite iru kara
Dekinai jikan ga nai kara
Dekinai umaku nai kara
Dekinai nemui kara
Dekinai kyou wa tsukareta kara

English translation:
I can’t because I’m not beautiful,
I can’t because I’m fat
I can’t because I have a headache,
I can’t because I’m over 20 years old
I can’t because I have no time,
I can’t because I’m not good at it
I can’t because I’m sleepy,
I can’t because I’m tired today

OLIVIA– Dekinai

5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest:

I watch you look out the window
Into the luminous blue sky
With eyes of loneliness
As if you had to go

What will it take to win your smile?
Does it help for you to know
That nothing can break my love for you
Believe in me, if you need to believe

OLIVIA–Space Halo

6. Where would you rather be?:

I want to be up high up with the sun
Disappear completely into love
I want to be up high up where I can
See the secret roads

OLIVIA–Celestial Delinquent

7. Describe what you want to be:

Come back into the world shiny and new
I will meet you there when everything’s okay
We’ll have a good old time together
I’ll have new ideas
I’ll be able to laugh
I’ll be able to love myself

OLIVIA–Dreamcamp

8. Describe how you live:

I am tripping out on myself
I am tripping out on myself
I have to watch my thoughts
Before they come to life
Before they come to life

I have to get you out of my head
I have to swallow my tongue
I have to find where I went
Before she comes to life
Before she comes to life

OLIVIA–Mint

9. Describe how you love:

I want to believe in love
I want to believe this feeling
That I feel deeply for you
But if you can’t
Turn away and go
Don’t turn back
And I’ll do the same

OLIVIA–Alone in our Castle

10. Share a few words of wisdom:

It’s what you make it
It’s how you see it
It’s how you take it
It’s your own design

OLIVIA–Slow-Mo

I’m not entirely satisfied with some of the answers (they’re tricky, since a lot of OLIVIA’s songs are Japanese. And even when they’re in English, they’re kind of whimsical and quirky in the first place).

I love, love OLIVIA. That is all. :D

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Things I Dislike:

1. Wearing socks/shoes/slippers inside a building… I like padding around bare-foot but I’ve learned that’s a bad idea in a dormitory setting. I stepped on a thumbtack earlier this year. :[

Things That Freak Me Out:

1. When my cell phone’s screen suddenly lights up for no reason whatsoever when I’m trying to sleep. The room’s dark, and then all of the sudden– bam! sudden white light! It makes me want to hide under my covers for forever.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

Jesus, I am actually drawing a flow chart/family tree for my Japanese Civ reading.

We’re covering the first book of The Tale of Heike and I can’t keep anyone’s names straight (and I’m usually decent with names) which is a major problem. Plus I have to do a write-up for this and I’m so not up for discussing the role of gender in this piece when I can’t even remember who’s who. I should probably dispose of this piece of paper because I have notes like “JERK WHO EXECUTED HALF-BROTHER AND HIS FAMILY” scrawled on the margins, but hey, if it helps me remember…

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

is getting lighter and I can see the sun peeping up over the hills.

I wish my brain would shut off at sane hours instead of slowing down when people are waking up.

I have to be up in a few hours for Plenary.

I’ll nap ’til then.

Then I’m going to find myself a tankard of caffeinated goodness. I’ll need it.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

New Moon was terrible as expected¹ and LOVE*COM was weirdly charming and I may or may not have projected onto it.

Not to sound like an Avril Lavigne song, but seriously, I’m starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me– if I’m a tad bit defective, and that’s why I can’t have a happy ending.

Or, you know, it might just be that I’m really picky like I am with everything.

I just watched the Curse of the Golden Flower trailer and I’m pretty sure that the movie should have been titled CHINESE MOVIE FEATURING GONG LI AND HER MAGNIFICENT BOSOM. Seriously. I’m starting to think that Gong Li has discovered the elixir of life. Or she has a portrait of herself stashed under her bed aging for her.

1. I can’t imagine anyone paying to see it [↩]

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

1. What’s up with me losing everything today? This is so not on. I’m upset over losing my favorite earring, it took me ten minutes for me to locate my iPod this morning, and another five minutes to find my iPod USB cable. :[

2. Aikawa Nanase and Shiina Ringo are the Queens of Japanese Rock.

3. As much as I love Hell Week and I like being a sophomore rep (so I know all the behind-the-scenes stuff!), I am so exhausted and can’t wait for it to be over. I am, however, excited to see my hellee all gussied up for the traditional Crashing the Shipley Dance! I told her that she needed to collect numbers from all the boys– but they had to be written on her body. :P Yes, I’m mean. But my heller made me do the same thing last year– so it’s tradition!

4. I need to get my hands on some more J-rock songs. Where did Luna Sea, Uverworld, and The Pillows go?! (I still have the FLCL soundtracks though.)

I lost a lot of my collection during the Great Data Migration of ‘08 (translation: got a new macbook, old computer refused to give up some of my music, manga, and old writing–woeangst). I keep listening to Shiina Ringo and while I still rank OLIVIA my favorite Japanese artist ever (and favorite artist in general, she’s really that amazing)  Haiiro no Hitomi gives me chills. Shiina Ringo is a goddess.

5. I can’t wait to watch New Moon at the Campus Center. I hate the Twilight series and everything it stands for (DEAR IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG WOMEN, please know that you should totally abandon your family for the selfish reason of being with your STATESQUE ASSHOLE UNDEAD LOVE) but at least it brings the lulz. If it’s truly painful, I have a stand-in date with Netflix. I can’t wait to see Love*Com.

6. Today was a “no make up day”. Stress and Hell week have caused havoc on my skin. Sleep schedule? Completely disrupted. That said, I’m surprised it’s not worse. Looks like my skin is on the mend!

I’ve gotten used to wearing make up just because a) I like sparkly things b) I need to wear blusher or I look like a ghost c) spending three minutes in the morning gives me a chance to orient myself /to get myself human before stepping out the door.

I also like to look nice. And I try to look nice. (I try really hard to look nice, okay.) On days when I go “screw it, I’m too tired to bother” I will inevitably bump into someone I like/want to impress. Every time. I just like to play it safe.

Waaatch me me bump into someone I like and become completely mortified. No make up, mussed up hair, my loosest pair of jeans, and a Columbia fleece. (I ought to do something about my bangs– they’re getting too long again.)

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

1. I am currently crying on the inside because of my CITIES abstract. Not because it’s hard, but because I don’t want to do it. Siiiiigh.

2. I think I smell like chocolate. This really perplexes me.

3. Where did all my Shiina Ringo music go? I only have “La Salle de Bain”, “I Won’t Last a Day Without You”, and “Haiiro no Hitomi”.

4. I’ve had Daft Punk’s “Around the World” stuck in my head for the past few hours. Consequently, I think I’m becoming a little unhinged.

5. A guy from my discussion group was talking about the video game, Devil May Cry, and now I’m really curious about it. I heard about it ages ago but never played it (since my ‘rents didn’t like ‘em).  Yay violent video games.

6. Sometimes the Bi-Co is far too small. That or I’m too particular/picky.

7.  Blackboard is having issues. There’s a glitch in the system so it says I’m not enrolled in any of my classes (save for my Chinese class last semester, not helpful) so I can’t access the audio for my Chinese homework due tomorrow. Sign that I should not do my Chinese homework? I think so.

8. I’m trying to decide if it’ll be too weird (even for me) to go up to the next person I know and ask them if I smell like chocolate. I don’t think I’m imagining it! My perfume smells like berries , black currant, and a dash of vanilla (and Van has even said that it smells like lavender) but it’s not at all chocolate-y.

9. I am hungry and should probably feed myself before I keel over. I wish I could buy milk from the Bryn Mawr bookshop or something– but that would probably mean I would live off of Honey-nut Cheerios.

10. I really want another navel earring.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

So yesterday I was in an incredibly foul mood because the girls who live on either side of me set their alarms at insane hours of the morning. One of them set their clock for 4 AM and I had just finished some work and trying to succumb to sweet, blessed unconsciousness when her alarm went off. … And kept going. … And kept going. She’s not in crew and her first class is at 10 or 11 AM, so I really don’t know why she keeps doing this?

This happens every day and I’m usually okay because I sleep with my noise-canceling earbuds in, but I feel like I need to have a talk to her.

ME: … So, do you know that your alarm is set for 4 AM? …Because I know. <– I wish I could say that.

But yeah, if this happens again– I’m going to talk to her. I was in a total bitch “I HATE SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS AND BUNNIES WITH PANCAKES ON THEIR HEADS” mood yesterday.
But! Hell Week officially started yesterday at sundown and Melody is such a good sport. One of her Hell Week tasks was to ask people “Have you accepted the love of Severus Snape into your heart today?”

She printed out fliers; complete with a picture of a brooding Alan Rickman and instructions on the back on how to be “saved” by Severus Snape.

Today, one of her tasks was to wear all her eyeshadows. At the same time. Her first attempt was zombie extra-esque and her second attempt made her look like a victim of an unfortunate mugging. :D

(Also, tomorrow, she has to interject with “c’est ce qu’elle a dit” (that’s what she said) in her French class at every opportune moment.)

My hellee > your hellee.

So today’s shaping up to be a lot better than yesterday. I’ve witnessed countless Hell Week shenanigans, received Zombieland (finally, Netflix, finally!) and Love*Com in the mail, got two other packages (one of them containing my super comfortable new rainboots). I skipped my Chinese drills class and my Chinese professor (thankfully, not the one who conducts drills!) told me that she has already finished and sent my recommendation letter for my internship. We had a fascinating discussion on the Japanese Buddhist interpretation of Hell today in class.
All and all, I’m pleased. :D I’m probably going to skip my PE class today because I have to catch up on schoolwork. I’ve been very good about going to my classes this semester– I feel like this should be okay.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

whine and cheese; please ignore.

I am so tired right now. On the bright side, I managed to complete my hellee’s schedule and it’s only about eight freaking pages because I’m a little crazy. I finished my discussion question for Chinese Revolution, copied some notes from a class I missed, am currently thoroughly knackered.

However,  I still have  a bazillion pages to read for CITIES, a lesson to review for Chinese, and a lot of Chinese history to catch up on right now but all I can really think of is “bed, now”. I had a Red Bull earlier and there was a slight caffeine spike (followed by a headache) and really, I’m reading all these words and nothing’s sinking in. I think I’m calling it a night and hopefully waking up early tomorrow to get some more work done.

In other words, I need to post some passive-aggressive post-it notes by my bed that says stuff like “WAKE UP” and “DON’T FAIL CHINESE” and even “IF YOU DON’T DO THE READINGS, YOUR FAVORITE PROF WOULD BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU”. I need to find a way to shorten the last one so it’ll actually fit on a post-it note.

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Inspiration always strikes when I already have my plate full.

One of my short fiction pieces has been sitting in Google Docs, untouched, since winter break and now I suddenly have a dozen ideas and perfect turn-of-phrases.

Because of course, this is how life works.

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Sophomore Year by Stacy

I just realized that I’m crazy particular with carrels the same way my mom is crazy particular with parking spaces.

You see, whenever my mom goes anywhere– she is obsessed with finding the perfect parking space. It has to be near the entrance of the store and it has to be roomy (also preferably with neighbors with cars with sliding doors so there’s not a chance of them scratching her car).

It’s just one of her Things and I always make fun of her for it (“Mom, stop stalking that poor woman. Why don’t we park here? It’s only an extra fifteen steps.” “That’s not the point, I want to park there.”).

When I’m trying to find a carrel in Canaday, I look for one that’s not in open space (I don’t like studying in open spaces) so it has to be somewhat tucked into a corner. It has to have somewhat good lighting and it has to be near an outlet so I can charge my laptop. I also feel a bit weird about studying at a carrel that has someone has signed out (even if there’s nothing on the carrel itself) so it has to be owner-less.

And in even less exciting news, I am a little stressed and overwhelmed by my TO DO list because Hell Week starts tomorrow at sundown! YOU GO BRYN MAWR COCO.

Last night, I was totally lame and went to bed right after the EAS Chinese New Year dinner because I was tired and exhausted. I literally fell into bed at 8:30 PM and woke up at 7 AM more refreshed than I have in quite some time. So obviously, I should give up any chance of a proper social life and adopt the bedtime of a five year old.

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I spent my Saturday afternoon catching up on readings for a couple of my classes (I’m still behind!) with Andy. Then we had a dogsitting job at Van’s.

I swear Andrea and I are the world’s boringest people.

At Van’s, we did even more homework/studying and we watched a History Channel documentary on Atlantis, Penelope, and two episodes of Jackie Chan Adventures (which, by the way, is still amazing) ’cause we’re total nerds.

新年快樂 indeed. :D

I am going to be so sad when my Chinese relatives decide that I’m too old and do not deserve 紅包/red envelopes. This is the only time of the year when I appreciate being treated like I’m fourteen and not an adult. (The other day Chinese professor asked a somewhat rhetorical questions; if we were patted on the head by adults as children. While other people said yes, I may or may not have muttered “… I still get that”. Which is sadly true.  I think it comes with being short.)

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I wish I could just turn my brain off so I can stop remembering things I don’t need to remember–of individuals I’m better off simply forgetting.

I feel like I have tired melodies of heartbreak and missed opportunities crosshatched into my skin, the shape of the words–lyrics–bitter and dry in my mouth.

And it’s not like I can’t compartmentalize, but do I really want to dissect every fleeting thought and emotion in hopes of finding an answer that may not be there?

And all it really boils down to is this: I need sleep, I need to stop overanalyzing, I need to shut down. The sky has turned from black to an pre-dawn midnight blue and in the past five minutes I’ve gone from feeling overheated to shaking from chills because I need to stop and sleep.

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More things I like: ordering way too much mediocre Chinese take-out (online! without having to be awkward on the phone), watching Zhang Yimou movies with Kelsey and Andrea, trolling youtube for Chinese music, knowing all the lines to all these embarrassing Taylor Swift songs, reminiscing about Chinese classics, getting phone calls from my parents (because they care and they don’t want to find out that I’ve died in the Snowpocalypse), writing ridiculous short fiction about snow days, finding out that my classmates are performing Super Junior at the Chinese New Year celebratory dinner on Monday (I’m only slightly annoyed that Andrea and I didn’t think of it first!), sketchy sleeping arrangements, tiny dinosaur snowmen, ice tea with lemon, finding out that Daft Punk is pretty fantastic multipurpose background music, actually getting a pretty decent work out, pictures of Chris Colfer on a scooter, finding out that my dream rainboots has been restocked, escorting very friendly and tipsy/drunk seniors back to their rooms, justifiable shopping sprees.

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1. Derek Morgan is hands down my favorite character on Criminal Minds.I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Shemar Morgan is a beautiful human being. Even Andrea conceded that he wore stubble well. :P

2.  I’m getting nostalgic about music I listened to in high school. Meaning, all the Japanese rock I’m currently missing. I used to have Orange Range’s discography but now I only have a few songs. “City Boy” will never stop being funny to me due to their mispronunciation of the word “city”. Use your imagination– you’ll get it in a second. I’m also missing Luna Sea, Malize Mazer, hyde, and Gackt.

3.  I plan on hitting the gym tomorrow. I love Bryn Mawr’s Black History Month dinner because it’s delicious (nom nom nom sweet potato pie!) but soul food, on the whole, tend to be insanely unhealthy.

They actually had balls of butter. Actual balls.

I was fascinated, yet horrified. I know one day of this won’t kill me, but between the fried catfish, the onion rings from Wednesday night, and my PE class being canceled… yup, hauling my ass back to the gym.

As I’ve told Andrea, I don’t think I’m built like my mom– she’s pixie-like and tiny (5′0) and while I’m also petite,  I’ve always been curvy¹.  My dad’s compact and sturdy, so I think I’ve inherited his body type. *sad face*  But that doesn’t mean that I can’t exercise and try to decrease my risk for heart disease, diabetes, etc.

4. I know I’ve complained about Seasonal Affective Disorder just in my last post, but I’m so sick of winter. I only just realized I had unconsciously turned on every light in my room when I came back from my meeting. Winter makes me so miserable; it’s so devoid of life and sunlight. I think I’ll get buy some vitamin D tablets and see if they help. I just want to stop feeling like I’m going to burst into tears at any given moment. Even songs on my “Life is my Runway” playlist can only do so much, you know?

(I totally, totally should have gone to school in California. I love Bryn Mawr, but this weather is driving me crazy.)

5. I harbor total non-ironic love for Digimon 02. I even like the English dub. I’m pretty sure my first online username was somehow related to Digimon– and somehow, I think I should be ashamed of all of this but I’m not. Whatevs, I’m a 90s child through and through.

6. Isn’t it weird how some things can still affect you, years down the road? I still can’t listen to The Whos or The Eagles because the were his favorites.

7. I miss my mom’s 濑粉/lai fun.

1. it was always a problem when I did gymnastics, none of the coaches said so out loud. I was eleven, I could do back handspring and a front tuck like no one’s business but I was more developed than the fifteen year olds I practiced with. [↩]

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1. YouTube just recommended me a Gackt music video, one of BoA’s cringe-worthy American debut releases, something with John Hodgman, a clip from one of my favorite Taiwanese dramas, a video featuring adorable puppies, and an OLIVIA fanvid tribute. I’m not sure if I should be impressed, amused, or a little terrified that it knows me so well.

2. As much as I love snow days… I don’t know what to do with myself. Lame. I lack the attention span to start most television shows (I tried Heroes again over break and couldn’t get through the first thirty minutes without getting bored). A lot of my friends have been talking about Slings & Arrows, Bones, and Dexter. Not to mention I can stream the latter on Netflix… hmm…

3. I am making customized ringtones out of sheer boredom. Plus, I’m getting tired of The Nightmare Before Christmas’s “What’s This?” even if it’s the Japanese version.

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Have a terrible haiku:

snow day, knife in throat

blue forget-me-not skies

sulking in my room.

I wish we were allowed to return our bodies or demand a refund. Mine’s totally defective and I’m not sure if it’s because I was a preemie and therefore my health was severely compromised early on or if I’m just unlucky.

I’m asthmatic (although, thankfully, I’ve gotten a lot better) and I’m allergic to pollen and some antibiotics. I have unusual hiccups that no one can properly diagnose, my skin is so sensitive that I get temporary blisters and hives for no reason at all and while they don’t hurt– they come and go without warning, I get sore throats and colds more often than anyone I know, and I tend to lose my voice at least twice a year.

This is ridiculous. And these are just the physical defects. :| (Because Seasonal Affective Disorder? Such a bitch, lemme tell you. I’m overjoyed that there’s sunlight and blue skies today, even with the bitter cold.)

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It’s a Metric kind of night and I’m a little wired. My throat is sore and aching, a sure sign that those delicious onion rings were probably a poor decision.

Have I been on your mind
What’s a voice without a song
Something in your head
You’ve been fighting all the long

Maybe I’ll finally finish one of my short stories.

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“SNOW DAY! NO CLASSES TOMORROW!”

That was what was being shrieked in the hallways of my dorm (Merion’s reputably “the quiet dorm”, pfft– dorm stereotypes can sometimes be very off) after dinner. I had just finished making hot chocolate and was planning on turning in early because I’m really a senior citizen at heart.

Also, the Snowpocalypse meant no sun. No sunlight+ Stacy is just a bad situation all around. I’m kind of like the aloe vera plant that some girl left in my dorm room over winter break (and never claimed it back, Jesus Christ, the poor thing is positively wilting from lack of proper care)– I need sunlight or I’ll keel over. Lack of sunlight makes me sluggish, moody, and depressed– full blown Seasonal Affective Disorder, at your service.

Anyway,  Andrea accidentally ruined my high score for Word Challenge (ridiculously addictive game on Facebook).

We opted to watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith and got ourselves onion rings from UnCommon Grounds. She ruined my all-time high score, I ruined her appetite by discussing various zombie apocalypse escape routes on campus and mentioned off-handedly of how cinemaesque Carpenter Library would be: terrible location for defense but sunlight filtering through the skylights and windows would provide a great contrast to the chaos that would descend upon the hapless students struggling with the undead in the book stacks.

Essentially, I need to watch Zombieland soon to get this zombie-mania out of my system.

Hearing all these good reviews from my friends isn’t helping. Most girls like vampires or werewolves (Team Edward or Team Jacob– insert obligatory comment about how terrible the Twilight franchise is here) but I like zombies. Obviously, not in a sexual manner because that would be ten million degrees of wrong and disgusting (would it be considered necrophilia? ugh ugh ugh do not want to even contemplate semantics!) but I’m kinda fascinated by the zombie apocalyptic genre itself and zombies are interesting since they’re more or less a walking disease. (I got the last bit from the Zombiemania documentary I watched over winter break.) Paranormal and supernatural things like these intrigue me– I know way too much about useless things like these.

Anyway, now my room smells like onion rings and I’ve decided that onion rings= the unsexiest scent in the world.(I need to break out my Unconditional Love perfume.)  I’m pretty sure my hair reeks of onion rings as well.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith is a pretty awesome snow day movie. It was meant to be a summer action flick– complete with explosions and sexual tension with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie looking attractive and sweaty in between gunfights, car chase scenes, and the occasional amusing banter. So of course, it’s not going to be a masterpiece– but it was really fun to watch. The chemistry between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie was fantastic and I’m a fan of mindless action flicks.

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I’m dizzy from lack of stress. It is a glorious feeling.

Snow days are fantastic. I could probably do with less apocalyptic thunder though.

Although I intended to catch up on work that I needed to do, I’m seriously contemplating going back to bed. I stayed up at late at Andrea’s– we were both tired, stressed, and grumpy because we procrastinated on our Chinese homework– so I didn’t fall asleep until 3 AM and I woke up at 7:30 AM to check my email (“Snow day? AWESOME, BACK TO BED”).

Maybe I should become a mattress or a melatonin pill tester…

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THIS WEEKEND I….:

• watched Stage Beauty, The Tin Man (rewatch), and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (rewatch) with friends.
• called my parents to let them know that I’m still alive.
• managed to bruise my left thumb because I’m a first class idiot. I grabbed my closet doorknob thinking it was my door doorknob and smashed my thumb into my door doorknob. … Yeah. :|
• finished my arts and crafts!
• skipped outside in the snow with Audra while pretending to be Anastasia and singing “Journey to the Past”. I also fell down in front of a ton of people from SPT. Go me.
• slept in on Saturday. It was magnificent. (I crawled out of bed at an obscenely late hour.)
• killed a ton of trees by printing out all my readings for this week. (I’m sorry trees! I promise I always recycle and I’ll plant an orchard after I graduate.)
• finished my study abroad app! I just need to turn it in.
• had the most delicious potato samosas in the world. (Well, they were insanely good for dining hall food–better than most samosas I’ve had in Indian restaurants. I look forward to Haffner’s potato samosas every Saturday.)
• devised a zombie invasion survival plan for merion out of sheer boredom when I was in that in-between state of dozing and finally getting out of bed this morning (yeah, I really want to see Zombieland– zombies have been on my mind)
• got in my work out sessions.
• borrowed a feminist theory book simply because it has an essay about Nancy Drew
• forgot to write LiSha’s name in characters again. I hate her.
• bought far too many milkshakes from UnCommon Grounds. And this is why I go to the gym.

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Things I love: the scent of pomegranate and green tea, people who don’t take life too seriously,  crossdressing gender-bending situations, Coke with lemon, random compliments, professors who go the extra mile, having cereal for dinner (Fruity Pebbles!), Asian snack foods, illustrating my notes from class complete with ships and mini-temples, frolicking in the snow while singing songs from Anastasia, comfortable hoodies, unintentionally hilarious emails from Public Safety, dewy makeup, baby panda pictures, hippo contact lens cases, guys who actually put the toilet seat down, free hot chocolate, meditation, not getting yelled at for hiccuping during a movie, watching people freak out about the Snowpocalypse, vanilla cupcakes, the burn of carbonated sodas, fedoras, zombie webcomics, having pretty fantastic friends, the generosity and random acts of kindness of strangers, twirly skirts, sore muscles the day after a good work out, having lunch with people I like, creating very specific playlists for the hell out of it, swoon-worthy male leads, conspirational whispers in crowded dining halls, EcoTool brushes, good hair days, lace masks, fudge, 90s references only my peers can get, yoga,  coffee dates with people I like, dressing up for no reason at all, art galleries, jazz music, grumpy looking cats, eureka moments in class, the art of layering, photoshop, making fun of the failboat ethnic bar at haffner, potato samosas nom nom nom, getting off campus for a few hours, dreaming in a different language, colorful scarves, insisting that trip-hop as a genre isn’t dead (it’s simply dormant), figuring out my password and finally deleting my myspace account that I never used, oddly shaped bruises, Romanov history, nara deer (are vicious!), sporadic punctuation, wishing LiSha would die a painful painful death, filial piety, frozen ground.

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TRUTHS

♥ Michelle Branch can’t even be classified as a guilty pleasure.

If I just breathe/fill the space between/I know everything is all right

(I wish that were true, but for now, I can pretend.)

♥  I don’t know why I’m so tired right now…?

♥ I am terrified of bombing my Chinese exam. I’ve been trying to study– but I’ve had readings, write-ups, discussion questions for my other classes. I’ve had work, I’ve been busy with my study abroad stuff. I just plain slacked off during winter break and now I’m paying the price.

♥ The aloe vera plant that some girl left in my room over winter break is, uh, dying.

♥ Strawberry milkshakes are amazing.

♥ I am going to be so sore tomorrow. Guess who had to use 8 and 12 lb weights when they ran out of lighter ones in my PE class? I hope I end up in amazing shape after this semester (occasional strawberry milkshake treat aside).

♥ Two movies I want to see: Zombieland and Valentine’s Day. Could they be any more different? Probably not. If I could only see one, I would probably see the former. I think this says a lot about me. (A way through a girl’s heart is through violent zombie movies. Trufax.)

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I plan on bottling all my anger and rage into being productive– so I plan on studying my ass off (with breaks for food and my PE class) for my Chinese test tomorrow, starting now.

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Do not fall asleep with wet hair.

I now resemble a very grumpy Troll doll.

It’s not even artfully disheveled bedhead, it’s “I am an idiot who takes showers at 2 AM and I don’t own a hairdryer” bedhead.

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Sometimes you just have to crank up the music and study until your eyeballs fall out.

I still harbor total non-ironic love for Michelle Branch, even after all these years.

Michelle Branch–If Only She Knew

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I have Chinese children songs stuck in my head. Unless Chiang Laoshi is easily impressed by kid songs about frogs, I am so screwed for my oral test tomorrow.

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I’ve basically been a big ball of stress because I have so much shit to do between this week and next. Yesterday at around 11 PM, I was all “…screw this, I’m going to bed.” And I did and had wacky dreams because my subconscious likes to fuck with my mental health.

I woke up today at 8 AM with the world’s biggest crick in the neck (also, yay, back pain!) and my right ear keeps roaring. I’m pretty sure I now know what it’s like to be seventy years old, ancient, and having your body falling apart.

Well, I’ve dropped off my study abroad app at the Dean’s office and I have a scary individual conference with my Chinese prof at 4 PM… so I’m going to study now. :|

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In my room, right next my floor lamp is my Blue Comfy Chair. As you can probably guess from the name, it’s blue and very very comfy.

So comfy, in fact, that I accidentally nodded off in it for a good hour or so. With blue highlighter in hand.

Good job, self.

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Songs on Repeat

1.Tegan & Sara– Nineteen

I felt you in my life
Before I ever thought to
Feel the need to lay down
Beside you
And tell you
I feel you in my heart,
And I don’t even know you
And now we’re saying
Bye, bye, bye

2. Mumm-Ra–She’s Got You High

She’s got you high and you don’t even know yet
She’s got you high and you don’t even know yet
The sun’s in the sky, it makes for happy endings
You can’t deny you want a happy ending

3. Eric Satie– Trois Gymnopedie

4. Bonnie Pink–Just a Girl

Don’t worry
I’ll get out of your life, so don’t worry
Yes, I’m gonna miss you for a while
But don’t worry
I’ll be fine soon, so don’t worry
I’m sure you’re gonna get a peaceful life
So smile

5. Vertical Horizon–Everything You Want

Somewhere there’s speaking, It’s already coming in
Oh and it’s rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it, Unless you were fed it
Now you’re here and you don’t know why

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Claire, Emily, and I watched Kiki’s Delivery Service which is amazingly charming and sweet. I love Miyazaki films, they make my heart swell three times its normal size.

I think Miyazaki Movie Night (yes, with all caps!) will have to become a tradition. I hope we can watch Howl’s Moving Castle next– I have such a soft spot for Howl and Sophie.

Today I had brunch with MK, Audra, and Andy. I worked out with Claire (yay gym buddies!) and have now decided that Daft Punk + Glee music is the best musical combination when it comes to get my admittedly lazy ass into shape.

And if the music doesn’t motivate me, the mental image I have of Rachel Berry at her elliptical does wonders.

(“If Rachel Berry can do it,” I tell myself, “So can I.” And yes, I know Rachel Berry is a fictional character, shut up.)

I have a boatload of reading (and write-ups!) to do. Woe is me.

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I need to watch myself.

I know most of my faults very well and I keep track of them.

For example: I’m self-deprecating (and I’m working on that, thank you very much) and I’m afraid that I’ll self-deprecate myself to death one day. I’m unbearably self-conscious and always nervous (especially around people I want to impress). They’re also things I’m working on and trying to overcome, but it’s not easy.

Not to be all Charlie Bartlett about this– but I like people to like me and find me funny and charming, which, granted, I know I can be around certain people.  Some of my friends are under the impression that I’m really bubbly and energetic, then they take a class with me and are surprised by how quiet I am.

I’m such a total introvert that it’s always hard for me to express my opinions– I’m much more comfortable with a paper or a pen.

Well, lately I’ve also noticed that I tend to make snarky comments in Chinese class and drills whenever I’m tired and not thinking too clearly. This usually happens at the start of class, when I’m still caffeine-deprived.  I need to learn to censor myself more and think before speaking. (I should probably thinking before speaking more often anyway before shooting off my mouth.)

And you know.

Just, baby steps.

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Okay.

You know those terrible Harlequin romance novels where the heroine gets so thoroughly ravished that she can’t walk the next day?

That’s how I feel right now.

… Fuckin’ lunges.

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